Love and what follows
by nereid24
Summary: Tragedy suddenly falls upon Ron and Hermione. This fic concentrates on how they cope and explores the possibility that this tragedy can either tear them apart or bring them closer. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Of exquisite love, left unanswered

_I do not own Harry Potter._

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_In my head I see your baby blues_  
_I hear your voice and I, I break in two and now there's_  
_One of me, with you_

_So when I need you can I send you a sign_  
_I'll burn a candle and turn off the lights_  
_I'll pick a star and watch you shine_

Beam me up- by Pink

Looking back, Ron wished Hermione had never gotten pregnant. The initial joy of realising that they had created a child, an actual human being had bloomed and grown as the months flew by and Hermione went from walking to waddling and from a size 8 to a size 12.

'Two whole sizes Ron!' She had exclaimed, when he had given an offhand remark that it was just a little bit of weight gain.

He remembered the nervousness and fear that had grown within him as the months progressed, how he had found himself appreciating his dad more and more as Hermione had grown more irritated with her growing belly, restless and uncomfortable.

But he also loved the entire experience, of holding Hermione close during the nights (when making love was not an option anymore) and feeling his little baby kicking, 'He'll be a quidditch player, he will, a Beater most likely', he had exclaimed much to Hermione's amusement,

He had been there for all of Hermione's Healer appointments and had beamed with joy when the Healer told him that his baby was fine and healthy and was very active. 'Might be a Chaser' Ron had mused aloud and Hermione had laughed aloud at his silliness.

Nine months had passed very quickly (though he was sure Hermione would disagree) and Ron was constantly on alert as the Healer had mentioned that it would be any day now.

How he wished Hermione never had gotten pregnant now. He wished it with all of his heart and soul.

He could hear Hermione sobbing behind the curtains, heart wrenching sobs that broke his heart into a thousand pieces.

He was holding his baby boy and wishing that he had never been conceived.

His little boy, his baby, his future,his legacy. 'Hayden' he whispered, his breath fluttering across his baby' face, moving over his closed eyelids, eyes that would never see, breath that would never be taken, cheeks that would never move upwards with the force of a child's smile, laughter that would never be heard...

He wished Hayden had never existed. But really, he wished that it was him instead who had died.

Ron held his child for the first and last time and felt himself break into a thousand pieces.

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This will be a multi-chapter fic so more to come. Next update in a few days.


	2. Of floating words,left unspoken

I do not own Harry Potter

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_There's a whole 'nother conversation going on_  
_In a parallel universe._  
_Where nothing breaks and nothing hurts._  
_There's a waltz playin' frozen in time_  
_Blades of grass on tiny bare feet_  
_I look at you and you're lookin' at me._

Beam me up- by Pink

'The baby's crying', Hermione muttered, dragging herself out of bed.

She felt Ron stir beside her before finally sitting up and laying a hand on her shoulder.

'Maybe you should go back to sleep'.

'But...' and it came crashing back to her. There was no baby, it was just her mind playing cruel games.

She didn't say a word, just lay down and pretended to go to sleep. She wished Ron would put his arms around her and hold her close.

But she wished more than anything else that her arms were filled with her baby.

She lay in silence, listening to all the things left unspoken, floating in the air above them.

And still, when she thought about it, there was nothing left to say.

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	3. Of swollen fists and unknown tears

I do not own Harry Potter

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_'We should get married, it's about time'._

_Ron looked up, shock etched on his face. He was sure his mouth was gaping open and briefly wondered if he was dreaming._

_Hermione stood above him, looking splendid in a red dress and her hair tied up in a sleek bun._

_'Er...'_

_He didn't know what to say, his mind was completely blank._

_'Well?' she said, drawing out the word so that he understood that she expected him to say something longer than two letters, a feat he didn't think he would be able to manage._

Looking back, Ron considered that this was quite funny in some ways, Hermione asking him, no demanding him really, that it was time they made it official. He was sitting at his office desk, 4 years later, thinking of that long ago conversation with her, finding it hard to believe that everything that was so good was now spiraling out of control.

Hermione hardly spoke to him these days and he was spending longer and longer hours at the Ministry. There wasn't that much to do so sometimes he just took long lunches and owled Hermione that he would miss dinner again. He felt horrible lying to her but the atmosphere at home was almost unbearable.

'Ron?'

It was Harry. He strode into the office, slamming the door behind him.

Ron barely made it out of his chair before he found himself being pulled by the collar by Harry.

'What the fuck are you doing, mate? Let go of me!'

'What is wrong with you?' Harry yelled, spit flying out of his mouth and landing on Ron's face.

Ron felt his face go red, anger building up inside him. He had no idea what Harry was going on about but all his frustration and stress seemed to move up like a tidal wave and he fought to control it.

He felt Harry push him away, almost as if he were a piece of garbage, rotten and stinking.

'What's gotten into you?'

'Ready to talk now?' Harry asked breathing heavily.

'What?'

'Are you ready to talk? Because if you are, then you shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be the one seeing you at 7pm in the office. When was the last time you spoke to Hermione? She just lost her baby, she shouldn't be losing her husband too', Harry spat at him.

At these words, Ron felt himself lose control. He flung himself at Harry, punching him everywhere, not caring if he was hurting him,not caring that he could easily use magic instead of his fists, not caring that he was yelling out loud.

He felt himself being pulled back, his colleagues holding him back while Harry got his breath back, lying on the floor with blood splattered on his robes. It occurred to Ron that Harry had not once fought back.

He pushed himself out of the office, stumbling slightly. He didn't want to talk to anyone, didn't want to see their stares and be judged by his work mates. Turning on the spot, he disapparated.

Ron stood and stared at his house where Hermione and he had made so many happy memories. He could not lose her, he knew that.

He started towards his home, realising that his knuckles were bloodied, throbbing and swollen from the repeated punches he had thrown at Harry, realising that he would have to apologise to Harry and realising that he was on the brink of throwing away everything good that had happened to him and it was time to fix it.

He,however, did not realise that his face was wet with tears.


	4. Of remembered pleasure, left unsatisfied

I do not own Harry Potter.

_'Was it okay?'_

_They were lying side by side, facing each other, noses almost touching. Hermione felt wonderful. She felt better than wonderful. Was it just a few minutes ago that Ron was moving inside of her, creating the most wonderful sensations within her body?_

_She looked at him now, wondering if he felt as great as she did._

_Ron was absently moving his hand through Hermione' hair when she asked him that question._

_He looked at her then, smiling gently at her nervousness._

_'It was better than okay love', he said, earning a wide smile from Hermione._

Hermione was sitting on the sofa, staring into nothing when the memory of first time lovemaking suddenly crept up into her mind.

She wondered if she would ever feel that happy again. She missed Ron,and not just the physical part of their relationship. It hurt her that when she needed him the most he would move away from her.

It reminded her of that one horrible time when he had left her and Harry to fend for themselves but at least then he had the influence of the horcrux to partly blame. What were his reasons now? And that was what scared Hermione the most. Did he blame her for their baby's death?

She felt her eyes start to tear up when she heard a sudden noise in the living room.

'Hermione?'

It was Ron.


	5. Of spoken thoughts and answered prayers

This is the last chapter of this story. I thank everyone who has read this, reviewed and added this story to follow up on any updates. I hope you like it.

I do not own Harry Potter.

They had talked, long into the night. In the end it was Hermione who fell asleep, her head resting against Ron's shoulder, her hair tickling his neck. He had gently moved her until her body was resting against his entire length, he himself stretching out on the sofa, tired as hell.

He felt restful at last even though he was still awake in the wee hours of the morning. It was like finally coming home, seeing the light at the end of the dark, long tunnel. He felt wonderful.

He remembered being shit scared a few hours before, wanting to make things right but not knowing if it was too late. He could be sure of it right now though. Hermione had forgiven him and the best thing was she had never in the first place blamed him at all. In her own words, '_Ron, stop being a moron_!' kind of implied it. He smiled at the memory created just a few hours ago.

His knuckles still throbbed painfully and he made a mental note to visit Harry the next day to apologise. And to thank him. The git was right, a few punches had made him realise it. He was more worried about facing Ginny than Harry really. Harry was his best mate and would wave this away. Ginny on the other hand...maybe he would take Hermione along with him and use her as a human shield in case Ginny decided to use her Bat Bogey Hex. He visibly shuddered and his movement made Hermione move and mutter something under her breath.

He looked down at her and couldn't believe that he had come so close to losing her. She opened her eyes then almost like she could feel him just staring at her face. For a moment she looked confused but then her eyes cleared and she raised her hand to his face, a smile blooming onto her cheeks.

'Morning' she smiled while her hand moved into his hair.

'Morning love' he replied closing his eyes when she lightly scratched his scalp.

He moved forward to gently kiss her on her lips, letting his tongue enter her mouth only a few moments later and exploring her gently. His hands lightly moved up her arms and he could feel a few goosebumps appear on her skin.

'Are you cold?' he inquired but she just shook her head no and pulled his head down to capture her lips again.

He could feel his arousal growing and he moaned against her, loving the feel of her against his body.

She suddenly stood up and he barely had time to complain about the lack of contact when she started taking of her clothes.

His irritation vanished and he just stared as she stepped out of her knickers and said very seriously, 'Ron, I want you in me now'.

He wasted no time at all, taking his wand and vanishing his clothes. He had a brief thought that Hermione must have forgotten that she was a witch but then remembered that she once had told him she preferred taking off her clothes the muggle way just because she loved watching him watch her when she did.

She straddled him and moved her lips to his neck, making the most incredible noises and he could feel himself grow harder. He stood up suddenly and Hermione tightened her hold on him in order not to lose her balance.

'You've got to wait a while before I enter you love', Ron said moving them both to the bedroom.

'What, why?' sputtered Hermione.

'It's been a while and it's all my fault. Let me make it up to you'

'Ron, in that case, let us both make it up to each other' giggled Hermione.

And they did.


End file.
